Just when my new semester started, and I was starting to enjoy my classes, and starting being more talkative, interacting more with peers. I find out I lost weight. I am pulled from school. I have my life taken away from me, again.

How long am I going to let this negative spiral happen? How am I doing this to myself, for the third time? These are the questions I battle with. My mind a confusion of thoughts. I know low weight, leads to louder, stonger ed. How will I find the willpower to turn this around. Will I ever be able to live my life without the binds of an ed. Live without compulsive excersize, control over food, and be content with myself.

I speak 100% truth in that I want to find happiness. But, I also do not know where to find the courage to get there. To live up to my full potential.

This week I’m stuck at home with all meals and snacks supervised by my dad. I’ve done this before, and it did help, a little. Let’s hope it makes a difference. My dieticien said it herself, ‘it’s all about the weight right now.’ So from here on out, I will give it my all, tackle my fears, and eat.

7 thoughts on “FEAR

  1. Oh Laura,
    Hang in there girl. I wish that you didn’t have to be pulled from school, but you must keep doing what you’re doing in fighting ed. Stay your strong self. ❤ Thinking of you

  2. keep going laura hun!
    I know it’s such a struggle to get out of that circle but you can do it!!!

  3. Hi Laura. I am sorry you got pulled from school, but maybe in a way this is a good thing. If it helped a bit last time, then it probably will this time too. Don’t listen to ED, he’s a controlling liar. Keep fighting. 🙂

  4. I’m kinda going through the same thing right now, Laura…
    Hang in there, love!
    Keeping your weight is really important right now. Don’t let ED trick you! You CAN do this, love. You CAN recover!
    Rooting for you.

  5. Being pulled from school last year saved my life. I know how rough this is but keep trekking forward. This will benefit you so much. I’m here for you if you ever need to talk, okay?
    I have faith in you! You WILL pull through this. Remain strong and focus on how happy you will be once you are healthy and full of life. Anytime you feel down, think about your future and doing what is best for you! You are a beautiful young woman and you deserve life! Do not forget that!

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