Hey…I’m okay…

I’m not going to lie, being here is challenging, examples? Fish sticks and fries. Fullfat dressings or margarine on all veggies. Eating over 3000 calories a day. Only alound two 10 minute walks a day. I feel like I’m trapped, even though I am greatful to be here, because without this program, I would be slipping further and further down that slippery slop that anorexia takes me on. The horrible feelings of anxiety take over my mind, yet I am unable to express them in therapy. I repeatedly tell me ‘I dont know’, simply because I really don’t know what’s going on inside my mind.

{have i gone mad?}

Things on my plate [no pun intended] = 1)Waiting for university acceptance, I’ve made 3 application, all of which I’d be pleased to attend. 2) Increase in mealplan,stomach is stretching, being in pain, eating makour fear foods. 3) Finishing highschool, all I’ve got left is english and chemistry! 4) Application to residential treatment center- part of my referal is sent, I am really really hoping to get in, even though they only have 10 beds for the whole province. 5) Another weekend stuck here on the unit, hopefully I’ll have some sort of pass though. Bonding time with my sisters too. 🙂

I hope for spring to arrive soon<3

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8 thoughts on “Hey…I’m okay…

  1. i’m rooting for you girlie 🙂 keep persevering, you have amazing things to look forward to in the future !

  2. You got the most amazing attitude, beautiful.
    From your words it’s so clear that you are more than determined to kick ED and live a free and healthy life.
    It makes me so proud of you to see how you’re fighting and trying to see the positive in this. Because even though it’s uncomfortable and scary, recovery is nothing but positive. It’s our only way to survive!

    Take care, know that I’m thinking of you. Thank you for being an inspiration and support.

  3. Everything will be ok, this is where you are supposed to be now. What you are doing for yourslef, your commitment to yourself, is inspiring.
    Lots of love and hugs xxxx

  4. All of the things you are dealing with are tough, I know how lots of them feel. By pushing through with them, you will find more positive coping mechanisms, because life is unexpected, it is not a smooth ride, and dealing with such things will only make you stronger.
    One day you will look back and realise how amazing you are for getting through this, and without your anorexia, you will be strong, happy and free 🙂
    Stay strong

  5. Hello!- So I started reading your blog recently (I’ve wanted to comment for a while but been too cowardly) and I just wanted to say how inspiring I found this post. You are really very brave to be facing your obstacles head on…and by the sounds of it you have SO much going for you , so much to strive for in the future! I’ve only recently begun my road to kick anorexia to the curb , so I know how confusing, scary and hard everything is for you right now… So good luck and keep up your amazing progress!!

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