im already 18!

It’s official, Wednesday is the day I turn 18, I can buy porn! jk. I never guessed I’d be spending my birthday on an eating disorders inpatient ward, on my third admission. Wow.

I mean its not all bad, at least I have some good friends here. I definatley won’t be out partying and getting my drank on. But hey, that’s okay. I have time for that in first year of uni, where I will truly enjoy fun nights out cause I will be healthy, energetic, and happy.

I don’t have anything new to talk about, except the fact that I am gaining weight. I don’t have much therapy going on, but it helps much anyways. Sometimes it feels like Im just here eating all day, with a bit of schoolwork, and art here and there. How do you cope in recovery? When so much time spent  on consuming  food.

My heart goes out to those gaining at home, I don’t know how you manage, not being in a program that forces you. It’s amazing how much recovering anorexia sufferers have to eat. 3500 calories, so much intake! But keep fighing, I’m not at 86% of my ideal weight and I have more energy, can focus on school, and I laugh all the time.

The cherry blossoms our coming out now, its absolutley beautiful. I love spring!

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13 thoughts on “im already 18!

  1. Happy early birthday Laura! I’m glad that you are gaining, not so happy that you have to spend your b-day in in-patient. But you will be stronger once uni hits and have plenty of fun then. You’re such a strong girl and you will keep recovering ❤

  2. Congrats on being almost 18! I’ve loved being 18 so far but time has flown so fast, I’m almost 19 now! I hope you enjoy your birthday and keep fighting girl!

  3. Happy early birthday! I knowwww how much it sucks, trust me. I was on 3600 for a little while and sometimes its downright uncomfortable! But it gets easier, just let it take its course and I promise it does!!

  4. Happy Birthday Chica! You WILL get better andyour going to soon be having the time of your life! Chin up! 🙂

    I just read through like the last five of your posts and I want you to know how incredibly proud of you for sticking with recovery! It is a hard battle and ya know what? NOBODY! NOT EVEN normal weight people like gaining weight that fast cuz of course it makes you feel yucky and it all happens so quick! But remember: After you gain the weight DO NOT step on the scale and know your body from their will naturally level out. You won’t feel gross and it will be normal!

  5. Happy birthday 🙂
    If you can fight through this, you can have an amazing year of being 18, as your birthday is only one day.
    Thanks for your support ❤

  6. Laura,
    I am so proud of you. Believe me, I truely am. What you are doing is beautiful, yet so tough. Recovery is not easy, and whoever thinks that people who suffer from eating disorders are weak are WRONG. You can’t fight such destructive demons without carrying an incredible amount of strength and courage within your soul. Which is what you are showing and I’m so grateful for being allowed to take part of your journey. You are an inspiration, motivation and a source of hope.

    Keep fighting. I know celebrating your Birthday at in-patient was not your plan, but if it’s what it takes to save your life it is more than worth it, don’t you think? You are building your future now – a healthy, free and strong one.

    Big hug ❤

  7. Happy birthday girl!
    I’m lucky in that I didn’t have to spent any birthdays as inpatient (I JUST avoided my 18th, pretty much).
    Focus on working towards your 19th where you can go out, party and get your drink on!!

  8. Happy birthday beautiful (:
    I went to Paris for my 18th, but I was in the depths of my eating disorder and so it was a pretty horrific time for all involved. Just makes me more determined to get well so that I can go back and have fun!

    You are so strong, and what you are doing is inspiring.

    LOVE xxxx

  9. Happy belated birthday! I wish you to find the aim of your life and the inspiration you need to drag you out of the claws of your ed. Be strong and keep on fighting!

    Marina

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