Being at university has made me come to some realizations I’d like to share, some good some not so good. I have become more and more in “tune” with myself as the days go by. I can’t explain it that well,but trying to recover my body from its malnourished state of health while trying to live a normal ‘college life’ is definatley not easy. It’s a constant mind game, and its torture. I know I have to get through this, if I want to stay here, but in reality I am 30 pounds away from a healthy bmi. I have never gained much without ip and am scared out of my mind. I went for my docors check-up only to be sent further into panic mode; I basically have one week to gain or else hospitilizaition is mandatory, even against my will. Is this really happening? Yes this is the truth of anorexia, the reality of this illness is that it can send you to the brink of death. It will strip away all your dreams and leave with you with nothing. Something that once felt like a warm comfort, has actually, in turn taken over your whole existence and left you with nothing.
this is what came out when I went to post, I don’t want to paint a lovely picture that I am having an amazing time. Though there is some positives and I do love being here at uni. I hate being ill, and need to make drastic changes quickly. Before my health deteriorates any further. Fight back with me.